Lincy Patricia
Posts
Raw. Unfiltered. Right Now.

Raw. Unfiltered. Right Now.

Typing Through Desire, Shame, and the Endless Pivots of Becoming

Lincy Patricia
March 07, 2025 • Estimated Reading Time: 5 minutes

'Dive in me' working on shame
- Want my essays read to you by me?? It’s delicious! …
I have some limited spots open to work with me 1:1
Plan Yourself in!
- My favorite YouTube video’s of this weeks:
Contact me with any questions HERE
- Buy my books here

NEXT LEVEL LIVING

There she sits, her body hidden under the winter clothes she’s been done with for months, Spring is lurking around the corner, but the cold of the winter seems to have taken over the bones. She sits on her ochre-yellow rug, staring at her reflection in that enormous mirror she dragged all the way from the Netherlands. Flowers stand on both sides of the mirror, and the wall around it is filled with art—some made by her, some given to her by brilliance in a different body. She’s typing on the computer for once instead of the typewriter, because she wants people to see what it’s like to be her in this moment.

Jesus Christ Superstar shouts from the little pink speaker, like always when she’s got her cleaning shiffers.

The Dyson is charging, so she ‘had time to spare,’ and suddenly saw her fingers moving on the keyboard as if she is playing the piano.

Her breath is stuck in her throat, and she refuses to look at it, refuses to let it drop deeper into her body. Taken over by the demons that don’t think deep breathing is important. Oh, a sigh—she’s still kind of here, after all.

Tears roll down her cheeks without her really feeling them, maybe even without them actually being visible, but then again, in what world, right?

She’s so fucking beautiful—moving her body to the music, blindly typing while looking deep inside herself. Into the mirror and into the soul.

A lot seems to happen.

She just stepped into a new ‘me’ after her second awakening in November. That’s when the ‘scarcity mindset’ she thought was normal suddenly became visibl; it was a fucking shock. Still is, while new possibilities enter. People think they understand when she says that, but they can’t understand. She’s stopped explaining and is putting all her focus on stepping in.

Good thing I know how her brain works.

Tears, tears, tears, tears - everyday the tears.

‘Letting go is a lifestyle’

In Emilia Romagna, Italy, in her apartment—the biggest she’s ever had—with that 80cm unicorn and fairylights above her bed.

Lonely. Empty. New.

There’s a new depth to being with pain.

Breath comes back, rocking back and forth, fingers still pressing the keys—no cool typewriter sound, but hey, her nails are long, and that’s deeply satisfying too.

Focus focus focus focus focus focus focus.

When I saw that ‘I AM,’ in December ‘18. I saw that I was everything. Or nothing (also a concept that can’t be understood). Theoretically, I saw that meant everything was possible, because everything ‘is.’ But I hadn’t yet felt it outside the BIGNESS of ‘everything is the same.’ My human hadn't yet lived it, stepped into truly opening to how I want to design in ‘endless possibilities!’ How to use this space of ‘everything’ specific for your human. ‘ICAN’ was born. It shocked me to the core. Again.

Did you know I didn’t even know what wanting was under the conditioning I was assigned? It’s like ‘freedom.’ I didn’t know what that was either until life revealed the experience to me… I know now, that there are so few of us people that really know what wanting is.

My brain still doesn’t understand it, but there’s peace in that, you know?

I don’t think people grasp the depth I’m talking about here. People can think they’re free without knowing what freedom actually is. I don’t know many people who actually use their brain as a tool, who live in a conscious version of their world, you feel me? Not yet anyway, I called them in. I want community, and be surrounded by brilliance.

Anyway.

I’m getting distracted again.

Stepping into desire.

Shame.

Looking at what you really want?

FUCK

Did you know we’re almost all (I don't know anyone yet that isn't) addicted to suffering?

Most brains don’t know either. They’re all ‘free’ 😁. This was one if the immediate realizations when the scarcity mindset became clear. (It was building up to be revealed)

But my god, does it take some balls to look at it—to face the reality of sitting in a prison of suffering, the door wide open, not realizing you can just walk out.

OMG. And there you lived, and still do, only now with the spotlight on it.

Luckily, I’ve known fear for a while now😅, and it’s just part of my life that I am now starting to see as ‘exited,’ The 10 years of freeze/flight/fight is moving out of my norm. Fucking Shit to see that my normal was so deep in hell for SO FUCKING LONG… some more crying.. its oke, I love you…

I also live pretty far outside the rules that got installed in my brain before I knew I had a choice. I am doing way better than my brain wants me to give credit for!

Breathing.

Singing.

Being completely lost.

And suddenly, you’re a whole new person!

God, if only I knew how to tell people that.

But thankfully, I don’t have to. I just have to live it, and people see—just by stepping into my field, they start realizing there’s more to them than they ever dreamed.

Is that enough, Lincy?

What is it that you want?

She wants to be worshipped. SHAME SHAME SHAME

Of course, no one will understand what I mean, because everyone’s attached their own meaning to the word worship. I Love the things where no people want to look.

Writing is becoming less fun, suddenly it became work…. WHAHAHA foolish brain. Look the deliciousness of becoming.. I will just publish this one..

Practice, practice.

Setting boundaries.

Feeling.

And…

PIVOT.

On repeat.

Adjusting.

And doing.

And feeling.

And…

PIVOT.

This is my life now—to feel as much fulfillment as possible in every moment.

❝

I am not just ‘here’ and ‘then’ and ‘later,’ I am also creating the ‘later’ by being here.

The ‘then’ (scarcity) has shifted out of my field—except for the things I put in my ‘thank you, yes, more please’ bag (my Sauron eye is locked on that now). Fuck the echo’s that linger

PIVOT

I want to take people with me.

I want to see people open into the depth of themselves. People are dying in themselves and are called to experience that.

I want to see it. I want to feel it. As much as possible.

I want them to fly with me.

I want to get paid for it. I love money—people have a hard time with that one, too.

I want men in my field who treat me like a gentleman should. Men in the ‘new mindset of the future.’ Men who KNOW the bigness of the woman; jammy, sexy, fulfilling as fuck! I want to be in the richness of attention.

Holding doors open—yes, even the car door. PRESENCE. Flowers. Road trips. Gifts. Travels. Serenades at the fire place. Fixing the house things without asking, even when I can do it myself. I want it all… Is that much? HAHAHA brain… NEVER TOO MUCH

I want to feel it on my skin; Inside me.

I want to be in awe of how many wonderful people want to give me what I want!

Goddamn, I want that!

Breathe.

Her knees hurt. She’s sitting in some weird-ass position, knees out like a frog, feet almost under her ass…

Comfort, PIVOT!

That’s right, woman.

She has a date tonight, and for the first time, she clearly stated how she wants it—and she told him straight up that he now has the opportunity to make her happy. If he doesn't get it right? No worries, ‘no’ is a complete sentence and I need space for those who DO.

Let’s see how that plays out in reality.

Watching.

Seeing.

Doing.

Feeling.

PIVOT.

Want my essays read to you by me?? It’s delicious! Use it as a podcast

I have some limited spots open to work with me 1:1

This is the path of the uncommonly brave. The addict. The deep feeler. The crazy one. The relentless seeker of depth. The one who knows that questions are not the answer, but the habit of looking within—because there’s nothing else left! You, who don’t turn away for nothing and long to fully embody your being and master the art of presence. This is where I guide you—not to more answers, but to the truth of being itself. Finally you get permission to completely and solely focus on you.

This is the space where spirituality meets being human. Being totally imperfect. Where hate meets love. Where darkness meets light. And where failure meets success. Welcome in the contradiction of your deepest self.