The Holiness of punching people

The Holiness of Punching People

I could never imagine my spiritual path pivoting into aggression…

It's funny to see that the so-called ‘spiritual path’ is so indoctrinated into the ‘love and light’ movement that aggression is not allowed to exist. Let's say, not more than in the ‘normal’ world… 👀😉

Of course, I know now that the path we all walk is merely becoming whatever you already were—and your human system is catching up with it by letting go of the unconscious blocks we adopted as self.

Anger, for me, is a feeling I can only feel recently.
Like sadness once was.
And fear once was.
Let’s say—feeling itself.

Before crying every day for beauty or pain,
I couldn't cry at all.
Before speaking my boundaries,
I couldn't even scream into a pillow.

Before knowing I didn’t know pleasure,
I wasn’t even aware of my suffering.

Do you see how it works?

Now, apparently, the aggressive version of me has come into the light.
And now I punch people.
And I like it.

It’s not new.
The small Lincy was also aggressive—(when you feel deeply, everything is felt deeply).
But it wouldn’t come as a surprise that I was not allowed to be.

And nobody taught me how to deal with this part of being human.
So I suppressed it.
Like every fucking one else.

Do we need a support group for this? 👀

No, you might say:
“Lincy, you can’t punch people!!!
It's not civilised.
We just don't do it that way.”

And I'm calling bullshit.

I do not punch random strangers on the street.
(Although I know some would enjoy that.)
But I do punch random friends.

Some love it.
Some don’t care.
Some ask me to stop.
Some laugh.
Some stopped being friends.

My sister reminded me today of that time I was in my teenage experience:
we were bicycling to school, and a girl annoyed me by walking too close to the bike lane…
So I grabbed her hair and kept on cycling, pulling her hair out.

Is this something I am proud of?

First of all—let’s get into pride 😉.
Second of all—if I had been allowed to be angry as a kid,
I could’ve learned the tools to deal with it.
So how can I blame that version of me?

We have no tools to deal with the extreme sides of being human.
We suppress all that intensity—
until it comes out as an explosion:

Shooting people.
Becoming predators.
Home violence.
Suicide.
Self-harm.
Animal cruelty.

But now you’re an adult, Lincy.
Yes. Yes, I AM.
And that means I’m allowed to be everything that I am—
and put myself in experiences where I can BE that.
And where other people LOVE me for being that.
Even if that means I like to punch people.

Do I punch people who ask me to stop because they don’t like it?
No.

But it’s not my job to teach other humans boundaries or communication skills.
That’s theirs.

And trust me—
There are enough people out there who love the ‘violent Lincy.’

I’m even teaching myself to fight the man I’m relating with.
I have permission from him.
And I notice my whole system freezing before I can truly attack him.

It’s interesting, isn’t it?

I see that most of my desires are judged by the norm.
But fuck it.
I don’t want to be like them.
I want to be like me.

And I want people around me that love me for it…
And then I will love them for it—in return. Deeper than they have ever known Love…
Even when I punch you in the face.

WithObession

Lincy